PAST STIRRINGS

JULY 2001  

Rants that have previously appeared in Shit Stirrer

27/07/01

THE ARCHER CHARITY MILLIONS - THE UNANSWERED QUESTION

With Inspector Plod investigating Prisoner FF8282 Archer J's theft of £57 million from a charity he set up to help the Kurdish people suffering from disgraceful human rights abuses under both Iraq and Turkey there is one very important quetion that remains to be answered.

HOW MUCH OF THE MONEY RAISED FOR THE KURDS FOUND ITS WAY TO THE TORY PARTY TO HELP FUND THE 1992 GENERAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN?

The problem is that with the Tories' lack of disclosure over past donations it will be very hard to discover the answer to this very important question.

If the Tories received a substantial donation from Prisoner No FF8282 Archer J around the time of the massive fraud there should be an investigation into whether Major Disaster (as leader at the time of the theft), Brian Mawhinney (as Party Chairman) and either Lord McAlpine or Lord Ashcroft of Belize (whichever of this pair of Tory Crooks happened to be Tory Treasurer at the time of the theft) should appear in court with him at the Old Bailey in his next attempt to commit Perjury when he faces trial for this massive theft. The charge they should face would be as accomplices after the fact and they should also face a charge of receiving stolen money.

Perhaps there could even be a corporate charge of receiving stolen money.

Come on Inspector Plod, let's see a proper investigation into this matter.

Also, the Tories should donate to a REAL charity any monies donated by Prisoner No FF8282 Archer J.

GIVEN HIS OWN RECORD ON CHARITY SWINDLES WE NOW UNDERSTAND WHY SICK WILLY VAGUE CALLED PRISONER NO. FF8282 ARCHER J "A MAN OF PROBITY AND INTEGRITY"

20/07/01

SERVES THE LYING, CHEATING, SWINDLING BASTARD RIGHT

After a very long trial a jury at the Old Bailey have finally convicted the Tory bastard Jeffrey Archer of Perjury and Perverting the Course of Justice.

This slimy crook has fiddled swindled millions out of charities, lied on oath and generally thought he was above the law for many years.

It was inevitable that the serial fraudster would follow his father into prison. We can only hope that some of his other, more serious crimes, result in more substantial sentences in the future.

What beats me though is how one juror could still hold out for a Not Guilty verdict despite a confession on tape, the forged diary compared to the original diary and much more evidence.

There are more dates in court to come for Archer now. To begin with there will be a date in the High Court to recover the damages paid out by the Daily Star, along with costs and interest. And this is without any more criminal trials.

Given the clear evidence the bastard is lucky to get four years, serving only two. Archer will look upon this stretch as yet another tax break. Perhaps the law needs changing to allow for income tax to be collected from prisoners, but that is a legislative matter, along with any action to strip him of a peerage, perhaps a backbencher could introduce a Private Members Bill to strip him? I'm sure it would get passed.

12/07/01

THE END OF THE ROAD TO HELL(TOWN)!

While the Tories were otherwise engaged in their leadership farce, the Labour Government were busy overturning one of the worst decisions made in the Major Disaster era.

Now that the general election is safely past us the Government have decided to scrap the highly controversial Hastings and Bexhill by-passes.

This is the best news to come from the Government for a long time. The roads which (despite the claims otherwise from local businesses and councils) were not needed (75% of traffic here is local) would have destroyed some of the most beautiful countryside in England.

The Western by-pass would have destroyed forever the beautiful Crowhurst Valley in which otters are making a comeback (I've seen one myself on one of my country walks to a pub!) and this is quite possibly the real site of the Norman landing in 1066.

At last a Government is prepared to say no to the roads lobby. Hopefully the other bit of the plan, improved public transport, will still go ahead though!

12/07/01

FIRST CLASS ENTERTAINMENT

BUT TENTH CLASS POLITICS

Watching the Tory leadership race from the sidelines has been immense fun.

The only candidate who could seriously damage the Government is not likely to be put to the membership because the Tories are desperate to spend another four years in opposition.

I often wonder if the Tories really know what they are doing. They seem hell-bent on the course towards self-destruction and despite being hammered at the polls they are mad keen on receiving a third drubbing.

Mickey Shithole thought he had the prize nobody in their right mind would want but Iain Dungheap Stiff seems to be in a position to overtake him and drive the fools even further towards the fascist extreme.

If Dungheap-Stiff is elected then the leadership of Sick Willy Vague will seem moderate.

Frankly I don't give a damn about this election. It is all irrelevant to the important issues.

07/07/01

LILLEY-LIVERED TORY DOPE U-TURN

It has really pissed me off that when it has come to the time for a grown-up argument as to whether cannabis should be legalised that the Tories are leading the way on the issue.

It pisses me off even more that it has to be one of the nastiest right-wingers of the lot and a loyalist throughout to The Mummy, Peter Lilley to say that pot should be available in off-licences.

Then you've got the Tory Fat-Cat, Kenneth VATman Clarke, saying that he is not persuaded of the argument, despite the fact that he is a well-paid drug pusher for the most addictive narcotic known to mankind, the old cancer sticks (says The Stirrer lighting up another roll-up!).

And who can ever forget the views of the virgin on the ridiculous Ann Widebum. This is the woman who wants ALL cannabis users locked up.

The Government have, regrettably, decided to stay silent on the issue. The police in Lambeth have finally decided to ignore pot and concentrate on the hard drugs issue. That is the right thing to do.

The only reason that some cannabis users turn to hard drugs is because their dealers also deal in heroin, crack, LSD etc.

And one mustn't forget the one drug which causes more deaths, violence and trouble than all the others put together - alcohol - and that is positively encouraged!!!!

Come on Labour, don't let the Tories run away with this issue! It's time to enact legislation to allow pot to be smoked by adults without the threat of a criminal record.

01/07/01

ROYAL TRAVEL COSTS - OR HOW THE MONEY COULD BE BETTER SPENT

The leeches which go by the collective name of the "Royal Family" have been boasting in their annual report this week about how much money they have saved us, the taxpayers, in the past year.

Well, I have a few suggestions as to how the bastards could have spent the money and got even better value!

Firstly, the costs of the royal train. Great play has been made of the fact that it only cost £33,000 to send big eared Charlie from Salisbury to Birmingham by train.

That £33,000 would have purchased 33 annual season tickets from Helltown to London.

That £33,000 could have brought 200 first class returns for the same journey.

That £33,000 could have paid for Big Ears, the horses head (CPB) and a butler to have a world cruise first class.

It cost £95,000 to send Naff Orf from London to Edinburgh to watch a rugby match. And yet it also cost the same amount to send Randy Andy to the far east!

These idiots apparently watch every penny of their own money and yet spend lavishly with ours. It is rumoured that the Old Bag won't even allow the heating to be above one in the coldest winters.

And yet the cost of a state banquet is unbelievable.

It was noticeable how the media covered this story. There was not one critic shown on either the BBC or ITN News.

Apparently it is forbidden for the monachy to be discussed in Parliament.

It is still a requirement that before any MP takes their seat for an oath of allegiance to be sworn.

It will puzzle me till my dying day how Phil the Prick can be both an avid hunter and patron of the World Wildlife Fund when his only interest in wildlife is killing it.

Now my remedy for saving more money - it's quite simple really, REMOVE THE BASTARDS! PUT THEM OUT TO DO SOME REAL WORK!

Now if the bastards want to see hunting kept we could replace fox hunting with a new blood sport - Royal Hunting! That would be just the sport for me!

Let's see this dispicable bunch of leeches out!

The campaign for a referendum to end the monarchy starts here!