CONVICTION POLITICS

WE HAVE ALL HEARD THE SAYING "X IS A CONVICTION POLITICIAN" - THIS PAGE IS FOR TORIES WHO HAVE TAKEN IT LITERALLY

CURRENTLY SERVING FOUR YEARS FOR PERVERTING THE COURSE OF JUSTICE AND PERJURY D JEFFREY ARCHER D Jeffrey Howard Archer, who was described by Sick Willy Vague as "a man of probity and integrity" has finally fallen and landed in the shit.  

All through his life Archer has practised nothing but deception.   Archer's father also spent time in prison for one of his son's favourite tricks - embezzling charities.   The lies and deceit started early on in the life of this country's most notorious liar.   Archer, who left school with only three "O" Levels told Oxford University that he had a degree from the USA to enter the university.   While at Oxford he became involved with the charity Oxfam and started embezzling money virtually straight away. With the money he swindled from Oxfam Archer purchased several properties in his home-town of Weston-Super-Mare which are now valued at around £500,000.   Archer even used The Beatles, Harold Wilson and the US President in his scams.   In his athletics at the time Archer was notorious for his attempts at cheating and constant false starts.   Archer then started to raise funds for the UN Association. He took them for a long ride too. He soon set about fiddling his expenses. Archer's speciality at the time was to take potential donors to lunch, get the prospective donor to pay for the lunch and then claim he paid for it in his expenses. Former Tory MP Humphrey Barclay claimed that he fiddled at least £1,000 on 59 separate occasions.   When Archer applied to become a fundraiser for the Tory Party the Chairman at the time, Sir Edward Du Cann rejected him as he was "unsound".   Archer was elected as a Councillor in the 1967 landslide to the Tories on the GLC. He soon found his niche fiddling expenses for his fellow Tories. He became known as "Mr Ten Per Cent".   "Mr Ten Per Cent" was then selected (despite strong objections by Tory leader Edward Heath) to fight a by-election in the safe Tory seat of Louth in 1969. The stories of his fiddling with the UNA were about to break to the press and Archer sued Barclay for libel to stop the accusations breaking before the election but ended up having to pay £75,000 to Barclay when he backed down. At the time his salary as an MP was £7,500.   Archer was eventually forced to stand down as an MP following disastrous investments in a fraudulent Canadian company. At least there is some justice!   It was after his fall from grace and near bankruptcy that Archer started writing novels.   Archer had off-shore bank accounts in Jersey and in the 1980s, while he was Tory Deputy Chairman (much against the wishes of The Chingford Skinhead - Tory Chairman at the time), arranged for a friend to make several trips in a special overcoat with large secret pockets to bring back cash which should have been declared to the Inland Revenue. This totalled close to £150,000. The Inland Revenue are now investigating this matter! Archer can expect to be greeted outside the prison gates with another arrest warrant referring to this matter.   One woman has never been enough for Archer and it is ironic that his infidelity triggered his downfall. There were countless stories of his using whores and this led to the famous trial in 1987 where he concocted evidence along with several friends at the time who were all given pay-offs to cover up his lies.   One by one Archer managed to piss these friends off and they started to talk. It was in 1999, in his campaign to become Mayor of London that the lying finally caught up with him.   Returning to his womanising, Archer had several mistresses and one of them was even given a bigger Christmas present than his wife one year.   Even this year Archer was seen with a new mistress in South Africa while on bail pending the recent trial.   Following the Gulf War Archer returned to his favourite trick of swindling charities. He embezzled several thousands of pounds (there are reports of even £2,000,000) from a charity set up to help the Kurds who were being oppressed by Saddam Hussain and Turkey. Again the Police are investigating this matter. Possibly another stretch to come here too!   After receiving his peerage from John Major in 1992 Archer changed crimes to insider dealing using information from his wife "The Fragrant Mary" to buy shares in Anglia TV of which she was a Director negotiating a take-over.   The matter was investigated by the DTI and another Tory crook, Neil Hamilton, decided that no charges should be brought. The report into the matter has never been published.   And so, finally we come to the Old Bailey trial which has seen Archer convicted of what the trial judge described as the most serious case of perjury and perversion of justice in what was his final case in a very long and distinguished career in law.   There was so much evidence against Archer that there was no way he could walk away smelling of roses this time. All the people that he had shit on while attempting to climb the greasy pole came back to haunt him, including former mistresses and his former PA who kept the original diary, along with his notes instructing her to forge entries in a new diary.   Archer had better get used to being in prison, this is merely the first visit of many he will make!

EASTBOURNE TORY SENT DOWN FOR DRUNK DRIVING (AGAIN) A Senior member of the (then) ruling Tory group in Eastbourne, Bob Backhouse, was making one of his increasingly regular appearances before the beak for drink driving when the magistrates finally run out of patience and sent the bastard down for three months.  

This was the third time in five years that Backhouse had been before the court on a drink driving offence.   The Chair of the bench, Gillian Caffyn, said that Backhouse was a danger to other road users and also banned him for another five years.   Backhouse was arrested by police absolutely paralytic at 11.30am on March 4th half on and half off the road outside his former home. When he was breath-tested it was found that Backhouse was FOUR TIMES over the limit after a heavy binge the night before.   In the usual pathetic pleas for mitigation Backhouse claimed that he had been suffering from a drink problem since 1994 and had been under great stress at home and due to his business. In the desperate hope of avoiding prison his lawyer also claimed that Backhouse had suffered a nervouse breakdown.   At least this is one less Tory vote in the marginal constituency of Eastbourne in the general election!

TOP BRISTOL TORY BANNED FOR DRINK DRIVING

By The Nutter

The Tory candidate for Bristol South in the general election, Richard Eddy (surprise, suprise he lost!) has been banned from driving for 12 months after he admitted drink driving.  

Eddy insists, however, that he still has the backing of his party to stand in the election.   In addition to the disqualification Eddy was also fined £200, ordered to pay costs of £54 and had his licence endorsed.   Eddy is also deputy leader of the Tory group on Bristol City Council and represents the city's Bishopworth Ward.   North Avon magistrates were told that police saw Eddy driving a Ford Sierra in Whiteladies Road on February 28th.   One of the brake lights was not working and there was some accident damage to the vehicle.   The prosecutor said in court: "He was stopped in Hotwells Road and alcohol could be smelt on his breath."   When Eddy had a blood test it showed that he had 95 milligrammes of alcohol in 100 millilitres of blood. The legal limit is 80 milligrammes.   Eddy told the court "I'm very much aware of the gravity of the offence".   Later, interviewed by the Bristol newspaper the Evening Post, he said "while technically I was just over the limit, I appreciate the seriousness of the offence and will not seek to excuse myself.   "In common with hundreds of thousands of people in this country I have made a mistake. I have learned from it and certainly won't repeat it.   "I have obviously advised both my constituency party and my council colleagues, who are incredibly supportive. I'm not proud of my stupid mistake, but I believe my constituents know me as a hard working (????) and conscientious local representative. This doesn't alter that fact."   The Tory bastard does not believe his offence contradicts his party's stance on law and order.   Eddy said that he was stopped by the police on his way home after attending two meetings and having a "quick drink" with friends.   This is yet another example of a Tory who found that the law applies to them as well as the rest of us.